Beware the psychotic black coffee drinkers!

Next time you order a black coffee, don’t be surprised if you receive a few wary looks: people just might think you’re a psychotic.

According to a recent study conducted by the University of Innsbruck in Austria, results revealed that black coffee drinkers scored higher in personality questionnaires that assessed psychopathic tendencies.

How black coffee and psychosis are related is a mystery, but apparently psychotics don’t have time for cream and sugar. Maybe they all gather together in a coffee shop and share their psychosis with each other in some sort of psychopathic support group.

As a black coffee drinker myself, I assure you that both my natural, gentle personality combined with my faith and trust in the Lord has prevented any kind of psychopathic gene in my entire body.

You’ve gotta love science.

Scientists, and others who are professionally involved in the field, seek to find causality for why people or things behave the way they do. They want to connect stimulants to responses in an effort to better understand how life works, ultimately with the greater goal of preventing unwanted behaviors, diseases, or other unpleasantries.

For the most part, I’m glad that these studies exist. After all, I’m sure it’s safe to say that we all yearn for a day when cancer is obliterated, mentally disturbed people are reached before they do harm to others, and we’re able to prevent other disasters before they happen.

However, every now and then, studies are done that give results that make little sense at all. This is one such example.

Ryan Glab
Ryan Glab
A Christian, conservative man seeking an open mic and a stage in the crowded, clamorous barroom of life. Fear God, love Jesus, and always seek truth.